Danzen Forte

c'est tres frais--okey dokey!
Just before the Queen is trompled, Samdi leaps from under his chair, twirls it into his hand and tames Sir Waffle's horse into submission. Sir Waffles is forced to walk off and find a new mount for another day. [C1-E3]

Hey Cosmo Bimbo - I'll try and get to that party. E-mail me with some more info like address...


Mmm.. I just had avacado, brie, tomato and alfalfa sprouts between two thick greek pitas with ajvar (an eastern european spread made from pureed eggplant, red pepper, and some hot pepper). Now we are going to watch Dragon Half. It's about a girl whose mother is a red dragon and whose father is the knight that was sent to slay her. She is in love with a pop idol, "Dick Saucer" (or Deek Sawsaw in Japanese) who is also a knight that wants to slay the girl. The theme song is set to various beethoven works and involves what I can only guess is a dispute over who gets which pieces of sushi (No, don't take the egg, it is mine! You take the octopus! I hate the way it looks!)

-Cosmo Bimbo, Almighty Lord of Onomatopoeia

I attempt to replicate a sandwich I once had in a Denver airport: Between two thick slabs of rustic wheat bread I arrange some slices of avocado, tomato, cucumber, and sprinkle on some alfalfa sprouts, sunflower seeds. I find the pickles in what looks like an antique Korean kimchee pot with an intricate design that is raised above the surface. I pour a large glass of the brine, to give to my good friend nico, and plop a twisty straw into the glass.

While we are enjoying our repast, Zan, my kitty brings me a wadded up ball of paper she had been playing with. I un-folded it and this is what was written inside:

Sir Waffles, Sir Waffles, where have you been?
Iím going to London to visit the queen.
Sir Waffles, Sir Waffles, what did you there?
I frightened poor Samdi to under his chair.



Q: Why did the queen have a picnic at the beach?

A: Because of the sand which is (sandwiches) there!!

The original pawn of Bishop Samdi, without permission while we were laughing at Chipmonk, leaps forward two squares - the little know-it-all. It's too late to stop him but that's okay, inside the brain of this pawn is a link to the Van Hauser Collective so generally, we trust his moves. [C2-C4]

The dining gondola floats by behind offering an exotic spread of sandwich ingredients and breads. I myself answer my tummy's growl by compiling a tuna with a hint of dijon on baguette smothered with brie toasted brown in the fire-burning oven.


Chip (who, in reality is not a bishop at all, but a Buddhist Monk who gave me a cool book at the airport the other day) has grown weary of Sarah's knock-knock jokes (the last one being "Knock Knock..." "Who's there?" "Oswald." "Oswald who?" "Oswald my gum!!!! hahahahhahahahah!!!!!") decides to slowly scoot away from the princess. "Hey, Chipmunk!" calls Sarah, who didn't listen carefully when I introduced him, "Where are you going?" but he pretends not to here her... [C8-E6]

"Do you have a refridgerator in this den?" I ask, "I'm in the mood for a sandwich." (always thinking about food...)


The Bishop Manuel Mop spots a dribble on the G2 square. Slop, flop, plop goes the Bishop Mop.

"A defensive position I assure you", gestures the King in good faith.


It's not paranoia if we... er... they really ARE out to get you.

My viola likes to wear trousers because he feels uncomfortable when people can see his f-holes.


and another thing, Thalia, why is your viola trying to squeeze into trousers, eh?

eek, thalia, like I needed anymore paranoia in my life...
-nico blue
"Ooh, you yucky pawn scum!" exclaims Sir Waffles, who is attempting to squeeze into yet ANOTHER pair of trousers (He's already wearing four!). "Now who will make sure I wait half an hour before I take my bubble bath? I will not tolerate tummy-aches! I shall have my revenge. Grrr... cheese."

The little pawn offers Sir Waffles a bribe: a Spam and pork-flavoured ice cream pizza, which everyone knows is his favorite food.

"Pas si tu etiez le dernier homme de remise de pizza au monde!" (Not if you were the last pizza delivery man on earth!) the noble knight of Bingingham retorts as he awkwardly leaps with pants falling to his ankles. Sir Waffles captures the part-time delivery boy and squirts him with a water pistol. "That's it!" cries the moist delivery boy, "I'm becoming a sandwich artist!" and he angrily walks out of the den. [F6-D5]

I guess that means no pizza. Too bad, I'm getting kinda hungry. Maybe we can make some soup, instead.

queen thalia

It's all a conspiracy. They are all against you, my lovely Ms. Blue. (Like you didn't know that already...)


yyyyyyyyy with the narcotics, always with the narcotics?

nico blue

i h8 2 interrupt, but y the op8 den?
The pawn at E4 crosses over to Prancing Professor Frink and suggests slyly that the water is wonderfully wet in the Den of Sand. The professor replies, "You don't say..." and trots off in a flop.

We giggle at Frink's wiggle and then I take the key back and whisper, "The key was found around the leg of a turtle in a fish in a bigger fish in a whale with a tummy ache that my good Doctor friend did attend. Found in such a special place, I thought the key must be very special so instead of looking for the lock it opens I thought I would create its keyhole in a magnificent door that leads to a wonderous land. Would you care to join me in a stroll to a secret Den called Door.


"Thank you very much, kind wizard. Maybe some club soda will help," I say as I swipe the cloth out of your hand and continue dabbing the blotchy garment.

The pretty Princess Sarah's (Sarah will act as queen, she's always flirting with Agamemnon, anyways.) pawn, Prancing Professor Frink is bopping along with the loud music flowing out of headphones. He's wearing swim trunks, a yellow ducky lifesaver, and a pair of flippers. "Hey, move it, Mister!" I shout, but he's not listening; so out comes the ostrich feather from the little princess's burgundy purse. "Tickle, tickle," she says impishly as the feather lightly strokes the back of the professor's knees. He yelps, "I like peaches!" and jumps forward two spaces. [D7-D5]

I take a look at the key and remark, "Hey! I used to have a key looked like that! It came from a Cracker Jack box. I would pretend the colourful acrylic pieces were priceless gemstones. I'd imagine the key opened the gate to the most dazzling city, where everyone had opalescent wings. They would fly high into the heavens to catch moonbeams and wrap the illuminations in delicate flower buds. And as the flowers would blossom, the ray would slowly release with the faint fragrance of music... I often searched for the keyhole that would transport me to such a magical land, but the key opened nothing but a cheap plastic box filled with "secret treasures" (jewelry made from tinfoil, plastic beads, and string). One day, deciding that my search was futile, I threw that key to the bottom of the lake, and never saw it again... Did you get that key in a box of Cracker Jack, too?"

queen thalia

Oh, I forgot to mention that all my pawns on the left side are watched over by Bishop Samdi for Queen Sandalia lost her's in a bet. Knight Trevador was saved by Bishop Samdi and yielded his Pawn in payment. Rook, Rubenstein, tends to sleep so much that Samdi generally guides the his pawn.

Sorry for the confusion, it is indeed the pawn before the queen that has moved. Thank you most graciously for endeavoring to inquire. I am most thankful for the misdirection.

Wouldn't moving [D2-D3] involve the queen's pawn, not the bishop's? Sorry, but I'm a bit confused.


Left Bishop Samdi pats his pawn on the hump and whispers take a single step forward for beyond that I sense there might be a devil's shute. [D2-D3] He turns and glances our way but I don't see him for I am carefully dabbing orange silk with a plush terry - clang!!!! What's that, something has fallen from the terry... it's a key!


It is such an honor to play chess with you, Dan Zen, in this beautiful opiate den. The traveling bards of my queen-dom often sing of your good deeds.

King Agamemnon's knight, Sir Waffles of Bingingham leaps in his odd L-shaped pattern and shouts, "Ou est-ce que ma pantaloons?!?!" (Where are my trousers?!?!) How odd. Does he not realize that he is wearing them? [G8-F6]

I make a toast, "To shower curtains!" As I take a sip from a silver chalice, I spill orange juice all over my silken gown. (How un-queen-like) I say, "Err... I meant to do that? ...yes... That was intentional..."

queen thalia

Jabberwocky is my favourite poem. I left the first post about Alice. Have you seen the monty python movie of the same name? Delicious.
I'm glad the Den Master has led you to the gondola which takes you down the steamy springs beneath the arch of healing and into the opiate den. I can sense the heart of the men swell with pleasure as your ruby tiara passes among them. Of course they know you are headed to my chess table where I routinely play royalty from around the world.

Since I started, my pieces, carved from Den crystals, are on row 1 and yours on row 8.

So with a slender delicately-carved shoe, I push King Karlov's knight's pawn, Peeping Petrov, up one square [G2-G3] sit back and sip elixir through a long twisty straw.


After thought...

I am the monarch a queen-dom: there is no king to give consent...
Also, should you choose the kiss, there may be trouble with express mail...

thalia (benevolent ruler of the munkee persons)


The Queen of Hearts,
She made some tarts
All on a summer's day.

The Knave of Hearts,
He stole the tarts
And took them clean away.

The King of Hearts,
Called for the tarts
And beat the Knave full sore.

The Knave of Hearts,
Brought back the tarts
And vowed he'd steal no more.

I will give you love and affection... But I already dig you, e-Dan! Ummmm...I'll give you a big wet kiss! Or three pints of my dadoo...
I know! I will bake you some sort of French pastry. I can make french silk pie and chocolate mousse and chocolate fondue. (I have a chocolate thing, okay?) Your choice, and I'll express mail it if you don't live withing driving distance.


I will play the queen and if I lose I will give the queen a special prize. What, if the queen's king does concede, will the queen concede to me?


Or is it king's pawn to king 5?


I, queen thalia of the munkee persons accept your chess challenge, e-Dan!

I am going to assume that when you say E2-E4 that you mean King's Pawn to King 4.
If so, I move my King's Pawn to King 4.
Do you consider the opponent's home rows as 8 and 7 or 1 and 2?


'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabber wock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun,
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought--
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
He chortled in his joy.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

Before the queen died, she had told the bishop a secret, a secret no other ever knew. when Alice crossed the kingdom she had a dream in which she heard a rather strange phrase. When it was repeated to the Bishop, he proclaimed that she must either be the reincarnation of the Queen, or that the Queen had chosen Alice to succeed her throne.
Alice was a pawn to begin with, but later made it to queen. I feel that opiates were involved in that chess game as well.
I think a knight took out a bishop, and was killed by the rook, but it is very dificult to imagin a board layout.
Did a King in need of a disguised Bishop call my name - I shall play like a bishop but have the mind of a wizard...

Time suspension is my forte.


I think e-Dan was playing, but don't know who else.
I don't think anybody has made a move in well over a month or two. It has been so long, I forget who was playing.


Neat game, who is winning?
The horseman pricked one hundred fold by the archers of my castle tower. Still there lies another well Bishop in my kingdom!
A Bishop well guarded may just as well be slain, but then slain is the slayer.
I don't believe your hourseman was in position to make that move legaly, and therefor is an outlaw to be chased by my rook!
a wild red horseman descends upon the abbey killing the bishop in a rather un-christian manner...he was rent asunder, from knee to chops!
and this is my imediate and instantaneous response.
The opiates in this den are expanding our sense of time. I can analyze all sorts of moves. Think for what seems like hours in mere seconds. My hand has just left my piece yet I'm already bored. Oh, when will my opponent move?
But could you imagine sitting in an auditorium for a month waiting for the next move?
It is a chess match!!!!! That's what E2-E4 is the first move.


It's been a month, and nobody moved...
Glad this isn't a Chess match!
Sounds reasonable, but had you enough time to ponder yet? I've waited weeks to observe the next move!
It allows for time to think - it's your move - I moved E2-E4


wwwhhhhyyyyy iiissssss everyyyythingggg soooo slllllllllow?

peaceful place with some excitement of playing chess