Rock is not a verb? Then what shall I do with this rocking chair? Does it cease to exsist?
Tell it to my rocking garden.
Rock is a verb, not a noun.
Ugly is a state of being, it cannot be judged by an image, but rather by action... Unless by an ugly person...

Chaos Zen

well my english isn't that great... i think that the adjective ugly should be turned into a verb for really yucky people. instead of saying that a person is ugly, that person would "ugle" /ug' uhl/ you know, turn it from passive to active.
"Rock" is a noun, not a verb.
the red green show rocks!
I'm a man
But I can change
If I have to
I guess
No ... for me ... for always ... the Gong will be a sound of love...
For Love, tis bells and chimes...

For Hate, tis gongs and the knashing of swords...

The bell tolls for everyone that loves...and hates. That means
Today I was a woman...tomorrow I will try to do better.

Deedle Dude and Deedle Dumber

Dude, and dude:
this place IS public!!!!!
i can see you!!!!!!
Who's dude

dude. dave just walked in and he thinks that this site is public. I'm so embarassed. Don't say any more. well just have to find somewhere else.
I love you, and will forever.
dude. I won't be out for another 17 years. I might not even keep my computer privleges after the shower incident. You might as well move on. find another man. It's just not fair to you.
dude? oh this is just awful. All these miles apart, seperated for all this time. When are you going to get out of prison again? I can't wait. It's breaking my heart.
dude. what are you writing, war and peace? jesus.
have you tried any of the games yet?
dude thank god. sorry. I was looking at pictures of yasmine.

DUDE...Im Here!!

dude. out there?

dude. out there?

I'm in here!

Chaos Zen

i love to make people happy. that probably sounds cliche, but i really mean it, it makes me feel really good about myself. more people should try it.

It's okay, it happenes *S*



I don't know your email address anymore (My computer crashed & I lost it.)

It is allright little muse. Poeple get angry, then time kicks them in the butt and shows them that they were stupid for it. I'm sure you know that much has happened since we last talked (not really sure if it's lots to you but it is to me) Maybe we'll get to talking again soon. I miss you too. Blessed Be


My perfect angel,
Feel me surround you...
embracing you so tightly
like a velvet fist.


So wise is my heavenly light, Oralas...

I miss you very munkee much, Ora. I'm sorry if I made you angry... Je t'adore; tu es ma sorciere favorite! (Like you didn't know that already) It seems like forever since I last laid eyes on your strawberry flavoring--it's magic-aly delicious...

I hope Tyme Bomb will write soon...


*she sits crossed legged, floating in the air, her chin propped up on the back of her hands* Hun you do realize that list is in alphabetacle order? *she smiles* why the call hun? *wondering if the list will be fulfilled in that order as well, she softly laughs* prolly.....


This is a calling to the three,
Queen Thalia

I hope to find you all soon...

With love,
Chaos Zen

hello, liz
hello i'm liz
It hasn't changed much, there is a lot of stuff going on right now.

I need to find out if Tymebomb is ok, it is a strange coincidence that a person of similar name, who partook in similar conversations and subjects, stopped leaving messages elsewhere at about the same time as Tymebomb, and I recieved info that the person (in other online communities was fataly injured in an auto accident. I truly hope it was not the Tymebomb I knew here.

Chaos Zen

Hey CZ, I'm here, I don't know about TymeBomb - and I am not TymeBomb obviously.

I've been at work on a new project that will stem from Dan Zen called Hip Cats. I expect it will launch near the end of this month. How's your site going?


TymeBomb! It is urgent that I know if you are still around, contact me by some means as soon as possible, please!

Chaos Zen

One says nothing, for days in a row
as my joy diminishes and I cease to glow
She thinks she has found
what I had hoped for in she
as nostalgia comes around
and I cease to be
When she looks elsewhere for joy
where does that leave me?
Has all been shattered
and shreaded to nil
when we no longer share
a same hearts true will
My heart does not lie
nor does it say nothing
but she has grown cold
but I am never regretting
Again I await
lest before then I die
for a love so great
desolves, unknown as to why
and I think of emotion
and new levels I had felt
disolved into memmories
by the fate she has dealt
again, silent, I cry.


I have heard much reference to "emotional intelligence", but am uncertain of it's definition or what it relates to. However, intelligence and wisdom being to very diferent aspects of knowledge, I still assume that it may be linked to what you speak of. Inteligence is ones problem solving abilities, logic a reason, the ability to learn. Wisdom is experience, and memory retention. I belive that "emotional intelligence" may be the ability to logicaly asses the emotion, thoughts and feelings of the self and others, and make judgemental actions based on an action-reaction basis, while am emotional wisdom, is to become familiar with common reactions to the interaction of emotions. Without at least one aspect of EI, which is how strongly or faithfully one believes in their theory, science is meaningless.

Chaos Zen

Can we then say that wisdom exsists on several levels? A social, fact based, emotional, and creative levels. Actually this is a current problem that is being worked through in the feild of Psychology. The EQ or Emotional Quotient is still scoffed at by many "top" scientist, unfortunately. I think that it is very important. It allows one to express themselves acurately and deal with difficult situations.
Thanks for the invite. I am honored to be considered for close knit E-mail group. I shall try to use that device soon
There is Arcana in all of us, the wisdom you hold may not be seen by yourself, but is evident to others of us. You should pursue it's recognition, identify it by exploring within yourself. You will see.

Chaos Zen

I am....but it seems the topic has gotten offense of course but the fact that no one has written for quite some time (though I don't quite know why) pretty much shows it....whatever wisdom I posses is beyond me...I didn't know I posessed any in the first place *shrugs* c'est la hmmmmm Jesse Johnson is that person that did the thing with the thing, that turned the spinning thingy that went bzzzzzz then ***clmplod***....other than that....I have no idea who that is *S*...


Anybody still reading this den?
Who is Jesse Johnson?
jesse johnson
What ever happened to Ora, I miss her shared wisdom...

Chaos Zen

Though this is unrelated, I have a tight knit group of friends who value the exchange of such intellect. I would like to invite you to keep in touch through email. You may find an address at the 565 site.
That is how my union did form. Hand in hand we met and conversed as friends, slowly as time passed friendship blossemed into love; although neither of us realized until others asked as to the nature of our relationship.
Tyme Bomb
Hopefully with the one I so love.
At leaste we are friends enough to spend time together (and nights), so that she may take her time to see through.


All beasts have beauty. It just takes a special love to find the beauty and cherish it; hold it close to their heart. I myself once felt as you. But one came along and discovered my inner beauty as I did their's. Now happy, we together are one. I wish the same fortune upon you and am sure as sun and sky that it will come to pass.
Tyme Bomb
Nobody could ever possibly love me.
I am a beast without a beauty
No Dan, I haven't had much time to participate in much lately, busy working on destinies. My love, my books and myself. Danzen just helps to see myself a little better, love these dens. (and those who intelligently participate in them)
Secret Den? That isn't good for my philosophies, I prefere sharing any thoughts that may be of use or curriousity with any who may stumble accross with some minor interrests or who may find a good use for them.

Love to all,
Chaos Zen

Chaos Zen! Sorry to interrupt, I can't believe you are 565. I guess you were similar... you guys should find a Secret Den together.

Are you in the Blimp Race?


Another side effect of sleep deprivation, "multiple postings"!

It seems I forget some of the stuff I was going to say. Well, today or rather tonight, I lost conciousness at Heather's house, while standing in the kitchen fixing a glass of caffine. She asked if I was OK, but all I was concerned about was being upset for making a mess in her kitchen and breaking a glass.

Lack of sleep also seems to be affecting my spelling negatively.


By the way, I often (if not always) concider many to be my "brothers" and "Sisters", in the religions of knowledge,
Wiccans, Thelemites, A*A*, IOT, Illuminatus, Pagans (all denominations, particularly those of Pan, Bachus, etc...), Chaotes, Mages of all sorts, etc...

Brother CZ

I hope you do not mind further cotradiction, but in all friendships and relationships, there must be at least minor conflict, else you'd need nobody but yourself as a freind.

I have had many devine teachings which seem to spring from nowhere, or perhaps from within, and there is just so much to share. If I do not complete my books in this lifetime, I am doomed to relive it. Nobody truely knows well enough about me, even I am still on the path of knowledge, as we all shall be, even until the day we die.

In the past, there were things which could be said to friends, but not to family, and things which could be said to family but not to friends. Even more so, were things that could be shared with some friends but not others and so forth.

After many revelations and levels of enlightenment (I'm not truely Zen, more of a well balanced and peacefull Chaos Mage with some Eastern influence as well as a base in Elemental energy, all five natural elements), I have become more open and truely have nothing to hide, so in order to share the joys and teachings of life, as well as a truer love for all, I need to spend more time stiching together all of the bits and pieces. (Even the dark ones)

Love to all,
your friend,
Chaos Zen

too deep for this world. I suppose when one looks into the face of love they also see the face of death. Often surrounded by the mist of regret and lost years. I once spoke to death, you can't see it in dreams but you can feel it. I suppose she ment that people tend to catorgorize to much based on sight. Perhaps what you saw was merely what you felt you needed to see in order to complete yourself. Also she says that people see methods of losing their physical bodies not true death. One would surmis that even after the lose of physical body your deads can never be left incomplete. We have children for this reason. A link on an infinate chain. You mustn't be afraid cause simply put whatever you leave unfinished now will be finished later by your children and those who have listened. You must learn to have practiced zen, which is an effective message to release creativity of soul. I have done this several times. As for missing a day with your One, I doubt that....even if you didn't get to spend it with her in physical form you still spent it together in spiritual form. If you can astral teach her how and you will not have those moments anymore......You remind me of scott cunningham (uncertain of the right spelling of his last name *S*) he was gorgeouse in his simple acts as a Wiccan as well.....I'm sorry I assume your beliefes are Wiccan, forgive me for that, but I have a point. It is the simple acts that make you gorgeouse. Learn who you are through your children. know what you want through your poetry and finish what you need to in your dreams.

Blessed be CZ

(Now all I need is a good spell-checker for when I type online)


I tried sleeping again, not always a pleasant experience.
I slept Saturday night, only to realize the next day that I had missed a great oportunity to spend it with somebody special, or rather, the One special person above all else.
I thought she was going somewhere with other friends, but did not offer to join them because my dream had brought about inspiration or rather a form of dread, causing me to spend the whole day reading and writing.
I completely rearanged my room to better suit the environment I needed around me for what needed to be written, spend over $120 on new supplies, a corkboard for notes, flowers and Ivy to decorate my room with, and some new oils, candles and incense.

I probably would not have done so, if I did not have three dreams, one of which was my death, before ever completing my most important books, dying without any knowing who I truely am, or what lies within me.

Love to all,
You friend,
Chaos Zen

you did, I just didn't look at my mail till after I wrote have to sleep willingly or I'll make you with the bad type of pain ;) but anyways I understand....your my friend.....I'm happy....



I know...

I thought I did, but unfortunately have very little time to sleep lately and at the expense of short term memmory.

Your friend,
Chaos Zen

By true to your heart, and explore it more fully. The arts of the hands of which we both speak, are both good, but very different, I speak only of the touch.

I'm not deceptive, I'm not good at it, besides it's something that never goes away. I only strive to be honest. I know there are things greater in pleasure than sex. I've never experianced such things but I know of them. Tantra and I believe the Kama Sutra (sp?) teaches such things. Also I have no male of interest. I have years to find one, I know, but right now I'm trying to figure myself out. Also I think I know the power of the hands, even if it is to just speak, write or play my violin. I already know how to channel compassion and emotion through them. I write, I play and I teach with them. I guess right now love is secondary to me at this moment. I am 17 and trying to figure out just who I am. I want to be touched, just to be touched, through heart, soul or even accident. *she bites her bottom lip* I've lost my point and my true reason for even responding and now I just prattle on about nothing. I am severly tired I suppose. I guess I'll just say I understand what you are trying to convey to my. It's another unspoken that I can sense. you never wrote me back......*she bites her bottom lip and lays down to sleep*



I cannot speak for other men, of whatever age, but true sexuality is something new to such men near the age of 18, they do not truely think with the heart yet, nor realize there are some pleasures beyond sex. Perhaps you could teach one or more, by giving such attention of the hands to an unsuspecting male, may even be disguised as "I want to practice improving my massage technique, care to volunteer?"
All it takes is one time for most to feel that there is something more in a simple touch or carress, it becomes a contagion of growing passion, a vessel for a language which has no words. I know that some day you will come to experience such, but to do so, you must be willing to give such unspoken words of heart, through your own hands, in order to become adept and fluent in such language.
Trust me, I find dificulty in speaking what I haad recently derived through the escalation from such origin. Not to mention, when words did no good, I used my hands to speak directly to her heart, and now we are truely united.

Chaos Zen

oh yeah...don't groan, it'll be something worthy this time I promise.....oh yes this message and the latter are myne


I was being faciscious luv....can we talk of something else? no disrespect but....well I grow impatient...I know hardly anything of you, just what you want...and that is not much....*she groans softly* wish I could get a back rub.....too bad the men I hang with aren't older than 18, then maybe they would get the "I need a back rub now!" vibes......anywho I have to get to bed, I've spent too much time reading your e-mail Zen *S* I loved it....I'll have to send you something
But if it were simply hormonal, (yes, I was addressing you as well), then things would have went differently last night.

7 hours were spent directly on her satisfaction, without a thought of my own. The only thing I was looking for, was for her to notice what I have to offer, which I'm sure she did. (She didn't want me to leave when it was time to go home and get ready for work. A big change from what we were limited to in the past most recent months. Perhaps further evidence was insisting that there were no (sexual) expectations on my part, only to do what she most desired. She owes me nothing, my joy is in her happiness. This is love, not lust. (well, in my view anyhow, she may will it to be as she wishes).

I don't mean to sound as if bragging, but I spent years in extending limits in the endurance and stamina of my hands, as well as being able to direct certain energies and disguise as nothing more than a backrub. Many of my tennage aquaintences of opposite gender in my younger years, often refered to what I did as "The magic hands of exstacy". A well meant carressing touch, with honest energy can do so much more and be so much more meaningfull than simple sex. I do not deny that such disciplines were implemented, and she is well enough attuned to know the emotion and energy I conveyed in such. I guess this seems to lead nowhere, but I am still in a somewhat confusing transitional state. I have discover many reliable keys to the workings of majicks, and it often leaves with the present results. Perhaps it has more to do with the mixed emotions of a "greater whole" of all things, and the joys of fulfilled (and in-process) destinies.

Chaos Zen
(not my birth name, but my real name)
565 (my designation in the majickal order of the greater whole.)

I invented a new word...aabefhijklqty, I'll have to look for the pronounciation, but all the consonates put together equal 5 and so do all the vowels counting y....Chaos Zen *haltingly said with a bit of regret at not know your real name* Was that to me or to everyone.....cause I don't want to assume for fear of being judged a boastful rash young youth *L* aiee my redundancy will be the death of me....anywho...I partially understand...I'm still a bit confused but I'm slowly getting's opening night of the play I'm in....yeah!......"hooked the one"...primitive male hormone talk *L* I get it though.....

Je t'adore mon petit chu!


I apologize for all of the recent negativity,
as a Chaos Mage, desparate for a destiny at stray, I had to take drastic measures to properly align what I felt must come to be.

Dream, then bring those dreams into being.
The transition into 565, one of greater passion, majickal potency and focus was needed in order to work my lifes greatest majick which as of today, has sprung from the seed, now I may watch it grow.

Again, I am so close to regaining my love for all things and everybody, again, I am...
I do not much like the way depression is often a component in the somantics of love majick, especialy since often it is contagious. My discord was genuine, but it is so hard to explain the ways of magery and the maner of thinking often required. If all are to hate me for such, then it does pain me a little, but I have hooked "the One", and is well worth the required process.

Chaos Zen

a little shameless advertisement

sign the guest book

oh for any who cahnce to read my previouse message, please know that it was written on an extreme mood in which i apologize for.....I've never had a mood swing like the one I had the day I wrote that so I don't believe I handled myself very well so I apologize....especially to 565(= 16 by the way) whom I love deeply and would never try to anger......*wonders why she's talking like she's accepting an oscar or something* anywho....I'm in a better mood now......thank you

luv Oralas

*she shrugs* all I say is stupid so it is ment to be contradicted....sometimes I take out all the things within me for the joy of feeling this know, worthless.....the only thing I want to know....well no I won't ask that here.....I had written something to you...and I feel that letter even more now than ever....I need to write now or I'll crack inside...more than I already have....I need to write a perfect poem of myself or you...I need to find it....*she chokes back a few tears* you spelled majick right......what else do you have in you that is right?...*she forces herself to smile* I'm suppose to be the voice of reason....but I can't be, not anymore at least...j'ai triste....*she rests her head on her knees as she presses them to her chest* an artist may say he is a flower and fear no ridicule because he is an artist and it is expected of are a lover and you say you are empty....that is lying cause no lover can be empty if that is what they really are....I use such crude and thoughtless words....If I could spell out tounges I would be so much more than what I am giving....where can the details be disclosed you don't write me very detailed e-mails.....your letter...the velvet's written with pretty words, but.....*she shakes her head slowly* spend all the time you must, if she hasn't felt it yet or even seen it or accepted it yet then she won't........

be angry with me.....I don't care

goodday 16


Ora, I do not mean to sound contradictory to some of what you say, but there was a time, in countless comunities when I knew the majick to change lives, and in doing so, my name was well known.
Under that name, I followed closely a revelation of how all things were positive, and even the worst disasters paved way for new beginnings, rebirth and creation. I loved all, and everybody.
But still being human, we always crave "the one", and must insist that she had been found. But with so much negativity having no place in my life for so long, the bucket eventualy fills and overflows.
Forgive me if I feel the need to empty that bucket, but it is required in order to go back to who I once was.
Empty? It is how I feel, be it real or not.
Can a performance artists not say
"I am a flower", without being called a lier, if that is the feeling they wish to convey?

I still must insist that my recognition of "the One" is true and sincere, it was no mundane clue or assurance, but rather so much over time of our bieng brought together which seems to be divine action by a greater whole of all things. I'm not blind by love, only hopefull that "Cupid" gets more arrows soon.

Things are looking up now, but the details should not be disclosed here.

I'll leave it at saying,
I spent more time alone with her just last night, and often she would say that (her obsession) would never do "that" for her. She has asked that I come to her house again next weekend.

Perhaps it is the undoing of 565, and I will soon be who I once was again, with all the love for all things, and all people.


565 no one is truely empty...full of sorrow perhaps, but never empty.....though it seems as if we should be...all of us with our false hope and adorations...we should all be naturally empty cause none of us knows what we truely feeel in the first place....nothing is natural and possible the only real thing in this existance, but none of us possess that type of peace....we all throw ourselves into our heart hoping to find something there that will make us feel better....I do it and so do you...your are not empty...if you were I could envy you....but you are not so I sit here with you and talk....because talking is the only means in which we have to read eachothers have beautiful words but they lack some truth in them...none are hollow, not even you who has suffered from cupid's laughter....*she stops and thinks* I've suffered in that way too...I hate to say I know how you feel but I do...In this world of off reality we all go through life hoping to find the one who will complete us and make us stop feeling this pain of heart...but if one thinks about it, we all have this pain but who has the cure...if we put two sorrows together do we not get a greater sorrow? must find peace in themselves so they may love...I don't believe any one in this tiny existance has ever learned to love with their soul....perhaps it's time someone did....I want should....perhaps you and I can change this exasperating world......



Ash we are all ugly on the's how you determine who you are within that makes you beautiful.....if you are beautiful within then you will be beautiful without because it shows through......only those who are beautiful within can truely be beautiful without.....those with "looks" have often times been ugly....look at some of the people you know to find your answer....

if beauty is inside, then are we all ugly?..Ash
My name doesn't change in hiding or obscurity, my name is simply who I am, and who I am is how I feel.

I know that you know
who I may be
and the writing below
could only be me
For no other as hollow
with sorrow,


nobody? I doubt the name is a beautiful poem....perhaps not even ment to be a poem but an interminable thought that dares not leave even if would make more sense if a name was given, but I don't pretend to not know who the poem goes to or is from *she smiles softly* but that is the opinion and the thought of one who merely listens...and doesn't dare feel without knowledge....


Cupid fired the careless arrow,
into the heart of one,
now in sufferage of great sorrow
which cannot be undone.
I am smitten by a taken soul
to whom I confess my love,
but no arrow to her, not yet I know
so I suffer the wait
Forever perhaps,
for the One mentioned above.


I will look......cause I am drawn....not by sympathy but by heart.......I will go and I will see, perhaps learn a little in the process....How do you know that I am Wiccan...or have I said that in some other message?? Oh I can never remember and I don't desire to go and look...besides I am merely focusing on your present see what words you desire me to hear I suppose.........I still want you to e-mail me......even if it be the letters h and i *S*........singing such a delicate song, embraced by nothing but wind...back in some distant time, learning how to forgive......I guess it matters not, exactly where we go...just so long as we're hand in hand, and fighting off the worlds bitter cold......*she groans softly* I am terrible.....anywho I will go to delphi.....she's a goddess is she not.......I know her......



Perhaps I may at some point in time, I have always found peace umong my brothers and sisters who had chose the path of Wicca and tend to speak well among those of other so called "non-x-tian" paths.

But for now, if there is any genuine interest (perhaps not, though I assume nothing), then you may seek the red velvet tomb in which all that was of me had been placed and not shared in return. I gave "all", and returned was so little, till there is nearly nothing left.

Seek out Net Dreams at Delphi (, and look for "The Velvet Letter".
Many say it is plain to see,
of I once was,
and what became of me,
when all was a dream
that could not be.

Frater 565

numbers have no meaning but love does speak so desparingly and I don't know why, but I guess as is always suspected I desire to talk with you about it if you don't mind......but not here....this place is too public and judgemental......though I do suspect that you might be opposed to that straight off, but I can tell that somewhere within you need anothers ears to hear your sorrow......I can be those ears.....please call me Ora by the way....tis too cold to me to be called a number, but perhaps that is what you desire to come off as......well by the light I prattle *S*.... e-mail me and we'll exchange the written word.....your a poet, so am I.....we'll make one long prose, just for the life of it all *S*.... only thing I have to offer is what you desire at this moment and that is a shoulder to cry on.......


So true 9, oddly, my despair brings about it's one creation, for truely I feel so empty, hollow, totaly uninspired and with contempt for so much that I once cared for. I have found and lost "The One"... yet you say numbers have no meaning...

I am 565

I suppose if you want to get technical I wasn't playing the game. Plus I have no player number so I guess that doesn't work either *S*, I'll give myself an appropriate number I suppose, if that is all that life is....too many lives being stuffed haphazardly into numbers.....wheres the soul in that?.....none the less I guess I will be classified as player number the way, this den bears the word love yet we play a question game, does this make sense?? Not to I, perhaps we shall go back to the roots....I see a poet and am impressed to a light degree *S* poetry is the love of insanity because emotion is mere fantasy........anywho.......Let us speak of something good, instead of having "normal" small talk

"player" 9.......oh never mind call me Ora!

Love sux, love is for losers.
Confess your love, if ever to face the cold bitter winds of reality.

If never again my ears heard a word,
then forever would could be alright
for my ears still ring with the bitter sting of those words that I heard that night.


I don't think anybody is playing your game.

Are you male or female?

Always put a player number underneath your post so we do not get mixed up, answer all questions with another question and for the player who asked what we are supposed to do, were you playing the game?

Player 1.

Does anyone here read JTHM, I love that comic book so I guess that qualifies as a love thing *S*
meow meow meow cat chow!!
Could some one explain what I am suppose to do?
Are you player 3 joining the game where you can continue by only asking a question?
what are you doing?
Or if there is a Player 3, would you like to play?

Player 1

I'm sorry Player 2. Using the theme of love, why don't we try a game where you answer the previous question with a question?

Player 1.

Nevermind, it has been a week with no activity in here, I chose to no longer be player 2.

Perhaps something should be done to clean out dens which have no activity.

I'm game.

Player 2

(If you are a player 2, click the bat signal up top)
Player 1 is seeking a Player 2 - was that Player 2 asking about the type of extension or is there another Player 2 in here?
What kind of extension would that be???
Player 1 - An artist paints from experience using tools that are extensions of the body
do i have to bring my own art supplies?
Player 1 - Do you consider love an art form?

1st game